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Its not a secret that some of us are born flirts — they just can’t help themselves. For example, while he/she is waiting for a cup of tea, they’ll flirt with barista, or just somebody standing behind them, mainly opposite sex. It’s just the flirter’s casual way of managing relationships, small talks. Another people act naturally without any extraordinary soft skills or gestures and want nothing in return, then they might be more of a charmer than a flirter (mind we are not speaking about extraodinary behaviour like in   A scientific viewpoint on the topic  was depicted by Northern Illinois University Professor, David Dryden Henningsen, in his 2004 review of literature on flirting, during research identified six different kinds of motivation for flirting:

Sex: flirting to get someone to sleep with you Fun: flirting as a sport Exploring: flirting as relationship practice

Relational: flirting to increase intimacy

Esteem: flirting to increase one’s own self-worth

Instrumental: flirting to get something from another person  

From the psychological point of view woman better to avoid such ways of behaviour: *Don’t rely on others to make things happen for you. The only way to get the man you want is to go out and get him yourself. Men like women that are confident, women that will approach them. You aren’t in the playground now, where you would get your friends to ask the boy from sixth form out for you. You are an adult now and if you dont want to settle for second best you have to go out and get your man. Do it alone, without help from your friends. It is one thing to flirt but teasing can land you in trouble. Have fun, clean fun. If you are interested in a man you don’t need to lead him on into jumping to the wrong conclusions like unusual porn. Don’t offer what you don’t intend to give. The man may become heavy if you dont give him what you have been suggesting you are going to give him. *Give him room to breath. Don’t crowd him to much or cling to him. Don’t follow him around or keep your eye on him. He is probably out for the same reason as you flirt with all the girls. Instead back off and play it cool keep him guessing. *Don’t let rejection get you down. All of us at one time in our life experience rejection from the opposite sex. You might feel a bit down at the time of it happening but you can’t let it hold you back. If we never got rejected we would all be with the wrong guys (it may sound strange but it is true because we might just decide to settle with someone without having set our goals higher.) We have put together a page for you on how to handle rejection. *Don’t fidget. Fidgeting is a sign of nervousness and lack of confidence and can put many people off wanting to approach you. Even if you are nervous hold your posture and keep your hands and legs still. Better still get onto the dance floor and put your hands and legs to good use. *DON`T get to drunk. This is the last but the most important. Being drunk can make a usually ugly guy seem handsome and can lead you to give him your phone number or worse still going back to his place and waking up next to him in all his unsightly glory. When you are drunk you also aren’t aware of your surroundings or what is happening and can also leave you forgetting what took place the night before, good, or bad. This is the one time you need your friends. Make sure that they don’t leave with out you and that they see to it that you get home safely. Now all that is left is for you to have a good time and know your own limits



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Author: margret jorgenson | Created at: 19.08.2019


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